Lorong Seratus Tahun, Scott's Gardens, Old Klang Road, Kuala Lumpur

Scott's Gardens on Old Klang Road looks like the odd place out in this crappy and dodgy part of town. Brand new shopping mall smacked in the middle of Old Klang Road that has nothing interesting other than Ah Beng watching. So I guess OKR is also changing finally after years of being in the slums. Scott's Gardens is home to Tesco and quite a few F&B outlets namely the crappy Overtime, Tom Dick & Harry's, another crappy one called Mongkok, a bakery called Bloom but will gloom soon and finally this one grandly named kopitiam called Lorong Seratus Tahun (One Hundred Years Lane).


I've been told by some aunties that the food at this place is not bad and that you should try the 22.90 Char Kueh Teow. Huh! Are you &^%#$# MAD? Anyway headed down with the folks, boss and maid in tow, we decided to try our luck.


The place seems packed. Good sign. (maybe not) Our orders were the curry noodles, nasi lemak, chee cheong fun in prawn paste, rojak, mango "crepes" (cannot remember what it's called) and another curry chicken nyonya rice.


Firstly, I apologize for the low quality photos as I was ill prepared for this. Photos taken using my crappy old dying iphone.

The only thing that tasted OK is the chee cheong fun in prawn paste. A little too light on the prawn paste for my liking but it was actually not too bad. 

Now this is the ARMAGEDDON of the "historical" Lorong Seratus Tahun. Just when it landed on my table, it just did not seem right. Picked up a spoon and scooped the soup. Bloody hell! It was so diluted, it looked like colored plain water. No need to try to know that THIS IS SHIT! STRIKE OUT! YOU'RE OUT!

The Penang Rojak was not too bad though after the horror we had with the curry noodles.  But I can get this from any pasar malam for half the price and be happier.

Nasi Lemak? Just like any other nasi lemak you get from the Kopi Tiams sprouting all over town. Nothing special and nothing interesting.

Nyonya rice? Check out the rice. Looks like a ball of over cooked rice. Sambal was not good, chicken was nothing special (Don't even want to remember what it tasted like!) and the lobak...it should be called Lo Chicken. Lobak without the bak (pork) is not LoBak! Don't try to bullshit us!

Mango crepes! Bad combination, Never order this nonsense again!

We came to the conclusion that water was added into the curry soup. It was just too diluted, too damn watery to be called curry and no sane minded cook can churn out crap like that. We reckoned that maybe the business was too good that day, they ran low on their curry so they decided just to top it up with water and maybe they'll get away with it. NONSENSE! You're a fucking restaurant, you serve food, you serve Penang food...have a little pride please! At least taste your food. If it cannot pass your own bloody tongue, don't serve it to us! (Mum said maybe it was the foreign workers but I said no. The blame is on the bosses of the place that do not train and monitor their own businesses.)


Anyway, this is one place I will not go back. They said maybe you should try our famous RM22.90 Char Kueh Teow! RM22.90 and get a couple of big prawns? No bloody way! If I wanted big prawns, I'll just go to a seafood restaurant and get fresher seafood right?


Another one bites the dust!

Cafe Latte, Caffe ritazza, KLIA Kuala Lumpur

Yes yes I know. I should not have order anything at the airport but I had over an hour to burn. What else could I do. Had to send some emails so I chose the nearest cafe.
This place is called Caffe Ritazza...yes Caffee with 2 F's and I reckon they tried to sound Italian but if you look close it sounds more Malay. (By the way, it's owned by a company called Saji Bumi Sdn Bhd. What do you expect?) Something to add..these fellas probably wanted to sound like Lavazza coffee but the owner's wife or girlfriend is called Rita..add the "zza" and you get Ritazza..corny isn't it?


Stood there and looked around. Attendant was too busy reading the gossip page of the local papers. I had to walk up to her and say "Can I order?" Anyway this damn cafe latte costs RM12.70 and boy!! They used one of those machines where you just press a button and you get the latte. Bloody hell!! For 12 freaking bucks, they at least have the decency to have a proper coffee machine and steam the damn milk too!! WTF!

Does this look anything like a cafe latte to you?

The coffee, well tasted like a cross between a bad flat white masquerading as a latte. It was not even hot. It was warm. Caffe Ritazza! Way to go....into the drain!! Won't even bother to try their food. Let's not torture our tummies.


STRIKE OUT 3 TIMES!!!
Updates - 12 Aug 2011. I googled the name and found that there are chains of this crappy place around the world. Talking about ripping people off.

House of Bento, Food Court 4th Floor KLCC, Kuala Lumpur

I really do not know what to say about this place. It is called the House of Bento. Big name and big expectations! Ordered the most commonly ordered bento set which is the teriyaki bento box. It did come pretty fast, within 5 minutes, the box was ready. Price wise, cheap. RM13.90
For this posting, I will have to break it down using the photos taken as I am speechless about establishments like that.

With a name like House of Bento, you would expect their Bento to have a little class.

This bento is arranged in way that made me feel like I was in a factory canteen or some labor camp. Rice was not even served right. Rice in bento's are typically nice and compact within their "hole" and almost square all the time. Look closely and then you can also count the seaweed on top. 11 to be exact and yes I counted them! 

The only consolation for them is that the photos make their food look nice but..

Next comes the teriyaki chicken. My photo makes it look good but taste...it tasted nothing like teriyaki chicken. As a matter of fact, it tasted weird. It had this weird taste of soy sauce, sugar and tinge of expired bottled teriyaki sauce (bought from Jusco's sale?). It was terrible. Not only the chicken is dry, it was utterly nonsense!!!!!!! &*^%$#!

Then came the salad and mashed potato. Shredded lettuce in thousand island sauce? Mashed potato that tasted like the pre-pack ones you get at the supermarket? &^&^#@!!

Check out this pathetic looking piece of tofu. It is not even square. There is a missing bit of tofu. Two drops of sauce is all you get. This is meant to be cold tofu and it has to be served cold. (I understand that it's a food court and you can put this tiny piece on ice but have a little pride please!) In fact the tofu piece was so damn small, I forgot where it went when it got into my mouth!

Now last but not least, the miso soup. Can someone tell me what is wrong with the photo above? Are spring onions very expensive these days? As I always said, soup must be served hot. Not steaming hot but hot. Not warm, room temperature...it must be hot. Urgh!!!!


Verdict


STRIKE OUT!